The Topcoats

Verse One

So I'm hangin' at the beach

I spy a two-piece beauty 

Well within my reach

Here's my chance, get on the bus

Our eyes meet, the wheels are 

Turnin' in my mind

Then she looks down and sees my toes — Oh No!

She screams in mournful woes,

"Toe fungus is among us."

"Toe fungus is among us."

Bridge

Oh no! Toe fungus.

Oh yes! It is among us.

Oh what can I do?

Toe fungus how I hate you.

Toe fungus how I hate you.

Verse Two

So she's at the club to dance,

To make some fun, make new friends, 

Maybe some romance.

Our eyes meet, her smile is sweet.

This lioness for sure a nine or ten.

Then I look down at what’s 

Poppin' out her shoes.

My happy heart gets the blues — 

It's bad news!

I yell out loud to the crowd,

"Toe fungus is among us!"

"Toe fungus is among us!"

Bridge

Oh no! Toe fungus

Oh yes! It is among us

Oh what can I do?

Toe fungus how I hate you.

Toe fungus I don't like you.

Bridge2

I toe'd you so, I toe'd you so.

So now you know, it's time to go.

Stand in the line, get on the bus — 

No more!

Toe fungus among us.

Verse Three

All this time together, I'm cuttin' you loose.

Time to part, no more podial abuse.

I need a clean start from the inside out.

There's the door, hit the road.

No more sweating this marathon; 

I'm movin' on.

And I'll smile when your sorry ass is gone.

And I'll sing ‘The Toe Fungus Song'

Outro:

I used to have the funji, 

Now I am a fun guy,

And my feet ain't ugly anymore!

She used an anti-fungal, 

Now she is a fun gal,

And her toes are lovely like before — 

(speaking with caution)

"Hey be careful with that — 

It's got a nail in it."